Too Big For One Girl
by Not To Scale
Summary: After losing one of her best friends Sara is struggling to find herself again. In desperate need of help she visits one of the new fangled psychiatrists, little does she know that the man she is going to see is the one who will turn her life around.


**Too Big for One Girl**

**_I used a personal experience just for the start of this story- nothing further in though has anything to do with it at all eg. People/places/events- I simply took some ideas for the starting relationships. First chapter is more "intro" type background- hope you enjoy! Needless to say I don't own A Little Princess... duh, darlings! Please R and R, it brings a smile to my sad little life :) _**

Sara sat in her carriage and stared out at the street silently. For many months now she had done much of the same thing- sitting in silence, thinking quietly. It was really most unlike her normal character and everyone had been very concerned about her, although she didn't really seem to care. There was something very sad troubling Sara. Something that was affecting her so much that she found it hard to get on with the day to day things she had to do. Nothing interested her anymore, nothing seemed as fun.

You see, a few months earlier, Sara had lost one of the best friends she ever had. Not only had she lost the friend, but she had deliberately set the friend against her… in a way. Sophia Morales also aged 17 had been like a surrogate sister to Sara. They had told each other secrets, dreams and hopes- things that they would only ever trust one another to understand. But then they had had an argument, and things were never the same again. Sophia had even more money than Sara and although there had never been any mention of that in their relationship, it was always there as an unspoken sort of truth. Not that Sara really cared all that much for money, but sometimes she couldn't help but envy Sophia and the big family she had. A loving Father, Mother as well as 2 sisters and a brother.

To make matters even more complicated, Sophia had always had another very very good friend who she was much closer to than Sara- Helen Planzza. Sara, although a very good friend of Helen had always been slightly jealous of her. Jealous of her brains, beauty and breeding. Jealous of how Sophia simply wanted to be just like Helen. Somehow she made Sara feel that she was never quite good enough to live up to Helen's standards.

Sara often had little conversations these days with herself. Gone were the blissful hours of conjuring up fairy stories about exquisite castles and teas. This was the time of self reflection when she would torture her mind over and over again, sometimes 5 times a day to know why on Earth she did what she did so many months ago. Sophia had given her so many chances and yet Sara had just walked away from them- how could she ever forgive herself for doing something so stupid?

Of course, Sara still did have many lovely friends. There was Becky and Lauren, Francis and Kate not to mention some of her fellow past pupils from Miss Minchin's academy. They had many good times together and laughed a lot but somehow Sara felt that they were never quite the same as Sophia. Sophia understood and shared what Sara thought were abnormal feelings that deserved to be hidden. Knowing that someone had the same sort of thoughts that she did had given Sara a new confidence in life that she could once have only dreamed of. To Sara the world was a very confusing place. Sometimes it was full of magic, sunshine and love. At others it was an evil sinister place full of nasty creatures and dull black stars. Like Sophia, she thought that sometimes people needed to be used to get on in life, that sometimes not everything turned out well and that in the end we were all just there for ourselves. Sara missed Sophia and often wondered how she was going, what she was doing. She still saw Sophia at least 20 times a week and sometimes they would look at each other and Sara would be sorely tempted to run up to her old friend and give her a big hug. But she never did. She tried to never let the emotion show. As far as Sophia would ever know, Sara was just as indifferent to her as she had been the day she had walked off down Fragenny Lane without even a look back. All over a stupid letter. A stupid letter which Sara never even read properly.

Sometimes then, Sara would know that she had done the right thing. She would hate Sophia and sit, wanting to be able to inflict as much pain and sorrow on her as possible. She didn't understand why it was that she had these huge opinion shifts and she didn't understand why she even cared. All Sara knew was that she wished she knew nothing about anything.

"I just feel like I can't do anything. It's my fault that this happened in the first place. Some of the things that I said… oh God how could I have done it? The very thought makes me want to be ill. I just miss her so, so much and I hate this silence. Even if we were arguing I wouldn't care. I just hate this silence between us. The way she can look at me and make me want to cry, the way she knows exactly what buttons to push to tip me over the edge. Every time I see her I just want some sort of reaction. Some acknowledgement of how much had passed between us as friends. I know that in society we keep up appearances of being completely separate but I want to know what she thinks. Does she really hate me that much? Could things ever go back to the way they were and should I let them? So many good and funny memories, so many plans and promises. But now, where are they? Vanished into thin air like smoke. I would give anything, anything at all to get those good days back."

Most of the time, these days though, Sara swung between having an absolute loathing for Sophia or being so desperately sad that they never talked, she had even tried self harm a few times. On this particular afternoon while travelling from the country to her London house, Sara was playing the whole ugly incident over and over in her head as she did all too often. She could never quite understand why she put herself through what she did… after all; thinking about the past couldn't change it. But that was why she was going to London. Sara had decided enough was enough and she was in need of some special help. She was planning to meet with Dr James Befram, a young doctor in charge of all the cutting edge recent on this new fangled "psychiatry" business. A quack to be sure everyone warned her, but Sara didn't care. This was not an ordinary problem.

Over bridges her carriage sped, along the roads and through the woods until finally she noticed that there was a higher concentration of buildings surrounding her and was therefore able to conclude that she was almost at the end of her journey. Dressed in a dark purple and red dress with a stunning diamond necklace as her only accessory, Sara was naturally breathtaking, even without make up. Not that she believed that of course. You see, the funny thing about women is that you give them a compliment and they either disbelieve you or forget or if you send one even slightly out of place remark at them, you can expect be put to hard work for the rest of the day. Anyway, Sara took out an ornate mirror and carefully examined her dark complexion. Oh how her green eyes vexed her sometimes! Still, nothing to be done about them. She quickly brushed back a piece of her jet black hair and checked her teeth for anything rather nasty before snapping the mirror away into her purse. The carriage stopped and the door opened. With a flurry of silk and ruffles she gracefully climbed out of the carriage and walked up a small flight of stairs to the front door of Dr Befram's surgery. She rang the bell once and stood tall ready to swallow her pride a little.

"Hello Madame, may I help you" a rather plump, jolly old maid answered the door.

"Oh, erm, yes. Please. I am here for my 10:20 appointment with Dr Befram." replied Sara trying not to let the fear in her voice show.

"Of course. Would you be so kind as to follow me?" The maid opened the door further and Sara stepped into the sophisticated corridor. "That's the ticket Madame. May I take your coat and hat? Lovely, thank you very much. Please feel free to take a seat and I will inform Dr Befram that you have arrived." With a brisk and efficient flick of her hair, the woman swept out of the room buried under feathers from Sara's hat and fur from her coat to tell Dr Befram that his patient was waiting. Little did he know just what effect this meeting would have.

After about seven minutes, another maid came bustling through the hall to the corridor and said to Sara "Dr Befram will see you now Madame." With just the tiniest feeling of reluctance, Sara pulled herself to her feet and walked over to wear the voice had come from. She walked through the traditional oak door and laid eyes on Dr Befram for the first time. Her cheeks went red, her heat skipped about 3 beats and her heart fell to the bottom of her chest.

"Hello my dear, long time- no see."


End file.
